IMPOLITE SOCIETY
The episode starts at Jill's apartment where the final meeting will take place before the Big Charity Event. Kelly comes back with Ramona's white wine and all is well with the world. Or not.

Ramona apparently took the "Ramona Pill...and it's starting to work" as a discussion about which sponsors could be listed on a photography backdrop became preposterously heated. At issue, did Russell Simmons advertise his brands on the photography backdrop at his annual "Art for Life" event in the Hamptons? Jill says yes. Ramona says no. This time, Ramona wins:

WATCH: Russell Simmon's Art for Life benefit at his East Hampton home.

Next, Ramona threatens to bring Jill "up to the Social Register" for her transgressions. Jill asked her where that was, to which Ramona just sat in stunned, wide-eye-job silence.

To be fair, the Social Register is a publication, so the correct answer could have been "on my nightstand." But it's now edited by Forbes magazine, so perhaps the answer Jill was looking for was the Forbes Mansion on Lower Fifth Avenue?

ANOTHER THIRTY SECONDS OF FAME
Next we join the Countess and her soon-to-be ex-husband at NASDAQ for the closing bell. The Countess was expecting "this big trading room floor...all these men in suits." Uh, that's the New York Stock Exchange and one of the fundamental differences between the two markets. But I will admit to being surprised that NASDAQ bothers to have a bell at all, which is awfully anti-climatic to see.

After the Countess and Count "ring" the "bell," they get to sign their names on a Final Jeopardy Question-style board, which projects their fine penmanship on the building's facade. The Countess relishes in her "30 seconds of fame." Oh, don't be modest...

But do you know what's the most accurate economic indicator we have today? Gift Bags.

WATCH: Learn more about the Gift Bag Index.

WHEN A MAN AND A WOMAN LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH
Next, we find Jill trying to have "the talk" with her daughter, Allyson. (Apparently, a guest expert Jill had called was unavailable.) This is, of course, a conversation Allyson really wants to be having, especially on national television. We also learn that Jill has a closet full of home drug testing kits, which dovetails nicely into this "I so trust my daughter's judgment" conversation.