WELCOME TO THE ECHO CHAMBER
We join Andy Cohen, Bravo's Vice-President of Programming, and the Housewives in the middle of Cipriani Wall Street, which is a ridiculously resonate space particularly ill-suited for conversations that will inevitable include a lot of shouting.

WATCH: Andy Cohen meets with Kelly Bensimon in his office at 30 Rock.

MAZEL ON YOUR BREASTS, HEADLINE MAKING
First up, Andy congratulates Jill on her breast reduction surgery (she apparently went from a 32G to a DD). Then there's a roundup of the off-camera news the other Housewives have been making: Bethenny has a book on the NY Times best-seller list (it's about how to have it all, yet be oh-so-alone), LuAnne is getting divorced (apparently she was notified of this via email), Alex was fired (completely unrelated to her prolific use of Comic Sans in all her design work), and Kelly was accused of all sorts of things in court and the court of public opinion (although she'll eventually be exonerated in both).

WATCH: Tara Solomon and her breasts interview Steven Gains about his new book.

MONTAGES AND QUESTIONS (AND QUSTIONABLE MONTAGES)
Then there are various montages (like the horrifying "Silex in Heat" sequence, which included a reminder that Alex and Simon met online when both were really just looking for one night stands) and answers to many of your burning questions (their parenting book will not be a how-to, they assure us).

WATCH: Lauren Ezersky visit "wild child" Betsy Johnson in her East Hampton home.

FAT GIRLS DON'T DATE
Next we learn that the reason Ramona didn't attend Alex and Simon's housewarming was because she didn't want to eat in Brooklyn, which is completely reasonable. Although who really eats, anyways?

WATCH: Do models eat? (No.)

KELLY HAS NO FRIENDS
Next, the Housewives question whether or not Kelly has any lady friends because she doesn't sit at home and cry about boys. Because, if she had such lady friends, she'd be home crying about boys all the time. Although, maybe it's possible she just doesn't care about such things and would really rather be jet skiing?

WATCH: Kelly Bensimon get "Om" and "Oh yah!" in Miami.

And then there was a lot of shouting and my cocktail glass was empty and by the time I refreshed my drink, Andy was struggling to control his guests, the tape ran out, and then the episode was over.

Until Thursday...

Nick Leighton is Plum TV's resident alcoolique mondain and gift bag expert. Click here to get to know him better.