You might be wondering, "Why are we still in the Hamptons? I thought this was Real Housewives of New York City."

Well, Gentle Reader, the Hamptons is New York City in the summer!

Indeed, one thing that sets the Hamptons apart from other vacation destinations is that many well- and vaguely-well-to-do New Yorkers encamp here for the entire season (not just pop in for one week during the summer, like one would for St. Barts).

LESSONS LEARNED

No1. A SOCIAL LIFE DOES NOT INCLUDE CHAIRS

Now we¹re at the Social Life House in Noyac (they pretend it¹s in Watermill, but that¹s a stretch). This scene introduces several important topics to discuss.

What's Social Life Magazine and just who is Devorah Rose?

Surely you subscribe to this magazine! If not, it¹s basically a free glossy found in racks throughout the Hamptons (next to piles of Hamptons, Edible East End, Vox, and Profile). It¹s helmed by Devorah Rose, who needs no introduction other than this amazing video:

» Watch Devorah Rose dance with a champagne bottle.

Who needs to sit?

Fun Fact: The Social Life House had virtually no furniture in it. It¹s basically a summer rental and all the parties happen outside on the lawn...I¹d be surprised (horrified?) if anybody actually lived there.

No2. GEOGRAPHY LESSON NORTH V SOUTH

North of the Highway versus South of the Highway?

Although many would claim it doesn¹t matter, there¹s a very, very important distinction between living "North of the Highway" or "South of the Highway."

Basically, south of Highway 27 (aka Montauk Highway) is generally the correct side to be on. Jill, Alex, and the Social Life House are all north of the highway (but at least Jill owns her home!). Kelly, however, lives south of the highway.

I knew a woman who was about to buy a house in Watermill, but got to the closing and the zip code on all the paperwork said Noyac. She was about to cancel the whole deal until it was discovered it was just a typographical error (and the house was indeed in Watermill). Whew!